10-22-24 Free Writing Practice

Hello again. I am sitting at my computer, waiting for some motivation to hit me today. As of now, I am still waiting. However, I see this as a perfect opportunity to do some free writing and an exercise to get my brain moving. For those who don't know how to practice free writing, it is simple. It is a writing exercise where you start with a one or two-word prompt that starts your sentence, and then you just write. The goal of the exercise is to get a view into the subconscious mind, so you must shut your brain off, never stop to revise, and see what comes out. The kind of insight from an exercise like this can best be compared to a dream. The unconscious mind can solve problems that the active brain can't. This becomes even more prevalent in today's society. We are overloading our brains with constant sensory and pleasure. For those who have to use their brains daily, which should be everyone, stepping away from the chaos is crucial.

That said, I thought this would be a perfect place to post and store the ideas that come from this activity. I would also love to hear any suggestions for future prompts, either for free writing or anything else. I would also love to hear any thoughts on what I have written!

Author's note: There are most likely spelling errors. Even if I saw them, I left them as to not stop the flow of the document.

Prompt: Begin writing with the phrase, “It all started when…"

It all started when I watched Whiplash for the first time. Sure, I had a facination with movies before; in fact film has been the majority of what I associate myself with today. But there was somethign that clicked when the credits rolled at the end of whiplash. There were chills down my spine and a silence on my tongue. Everything about the movie was what I wanted to be, what I wanted to create. That was around my Junior year of high school. I think that time of my life was also a huge contributor to why I buckled down and decided to pursue a poor mans degree. The amount of debt I have aqurired just to prove that I can type on a computer is insane. I did this to myself, I could have been less abituous. I proabbly should have been less ambitious. But it is too late now, I am stuck with my decision. And its not like I am sad about that. The things I learned in college I never could have done on my own. But of course that may be because I am lazy, or sad. But that's not the point, the point is that the decision to go down this route was my own. I have loved it every step of the way, and sure its been hard, but what isn't I suppose. I just wish that there would be less things on my plate at once. I mean, look around, the world is trying to kill us from stress all in the name of money. And as a society we follow along as the billionares tell us what to do and lie to our faces everyday, but we still buy their proudcts and their earth killing messages. And at the end of the day, that's why I write, right? It's to get my message out there. But the difference between a good writer and me is that a good writer actually puts his message out there. What do I do? not much is that answer. But of course, I can never let that be the case. I look at myself and try to plead for freedom from ambition. I ask to be normal and give up, but I can't. There will always be a voice that reminds me that I don't know if I have what it takes. My actions often show that I don't, so am I just stupid? I dont know. And I think one of the things that keeps me going is the fact that the desire to do something big and to create something meaningful is always there. I can't turn it off. I want to be better, I want to make change. But just like most things, the game is rigged. You're not supposed to "make it," you're supposed to lie down and take the bullshit one billionare at a time. Well I can't live in ignorance, or at least willful ignorance. Someone has to do something. I don't know if that someone is me, but I do know that there are plenty of people out there who are choosing to lie down when they could make more of a differnce then I ever could. You walk past them everyday, you see the defeat in there eyes. Each and every person who has settled walks like deasd among us. I feel for these people as I see it in my future, but since I am still on the edge waiting to jump, I plead that if somehow you fidn this message, do something.

Prompt:

reform

scheme

literature

Literature reform scheme. I think most people nowadays don't read, and I find that to be problem. I myself am at fault for this, I tell myself to read often, but find the act to be too exhausting to actually do. And this is actually for a scientific reason. I had done research on why this was, and why more and more people are putting books down everyday. The answer is suprisingly simple: dopamine burn out. Dopamine works like a roller coaster; whenever your dopamine levels are high, the must come down. but of course if the rollercoaster were to not take any momentum away on the downslope and just rubberbanded back to its original position, every passenger would die. This is why whenever you do an activity that immediatly starts to ramp up the dopamine in your system (Tv, Video games, social media, etc...) it will always come down and go lower than base level. This is where the brain gets tricked. Your body feels as if there is no dopamine, which is true, but this is the effect of the activities we do everyday. So when the body feels as if there is no dopamine, what will it look for? The things that gave it dopamine in the first place. That's why its easy to get back into bed or onto the couch. Your body needs the dopamine for that natural motivation.

So, back to reading, this dopamine pandmeic is what is making humans less productive then ever, and stupider then ever. Were are killing our brains daily with constant screen time and unbridalled access to any media for a small monthly price. And this is more prevelent then ever as streming becomes the norm. There is no waiting for your show to come out or it to finally air, instead you get an entire show in a day which sky rockets your dopamine. But then what happens when its done, thats right, you crash. Then you couldn't doing naything productive if you wanted to. Instead your brain needs more Tv. And of course there is a way around this, it's called not subscribing to streaming services. Stop giving them your money, they are killing your brain and using to get more money. And it's not like what I am saying is a profound revelation. This is public information, and CEOs know this. You are exploited daily, and unless you put in an active effort nothing will change. And you don't have to perfect. I am saying all this, and yet its on my mind for a reason. I am just as bad as everyone else, the differnce though is that I am trying to change this about myself. I don't want to doomscroll, or waste years of my life watching Tv for the sake of watching Tv. And I truly do believe that all of this media can be good, but as consumers we have to limit what we watch, buy, and support beacsue often you shouldn't be doing any of these things.

Now I want to return to reading again. I went over why we have dopamine issues, but what does this specifically mean for hobbies like reading? Reading creates dopamine, so why aren't we addicted to that? It's very simple, reading realeases dopamine very slowly, so as you go along through the book your dopamine steadily increase. This keeps you entertained, engaged, and wanting more. But of remember what I said, Tv, video games, porn, social media and so on, don't require you to work for the dopamine. It skyrockets. It'a that quick fix that only takes a minute to induce. But reading, that's so boring right? It takes forever, and you have to comprehend things instead of just watching action. I don't want to hate on hobbies. Tv is a very important cultural thing, but as a society we have begun to take art and exploit it so that we can feel "happy" again. I just feel that if I can make someone think about putting there phone down and just sit in silence once, then I have done my job as a member of this society.